matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
