I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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