I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
