yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
