well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize