sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
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Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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