If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
