Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is my gift to your gina
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
