He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
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He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
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Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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