a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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