Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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