he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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