i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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