She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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