i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
