fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I could make wine with my vomit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
