Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
