My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
