For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
