i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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