I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
