Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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