I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
