this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
