Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I lost the right to judge tonight
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
