she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
