dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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