I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
