Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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