i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
