She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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