My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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