roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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