Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
