but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
