i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
