I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
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How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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