Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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