Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
