her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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