What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
