found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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