Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
