the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
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I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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