you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
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Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????