Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks

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(631): View more from New York

My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."

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(302): View more from Delaware

just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.

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(209): View more from California

I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.

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