hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
