remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
