A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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