i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
