The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
