Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
