i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
