Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
