I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
