You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Buhtt sex?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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