Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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