even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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