I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
