he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize