I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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