is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
